Sunday, November 29, 2009

Law abiding citizen?

Joy: I can't call Chris back right now because I'm driving and it's against the law to talk on the phone while driving. I AM a law abiding citizen!!

Joanna: Wait! Wasn't it you who hit someone's car last week and left the scene? And wasn't it Kat that had to point out to you that you hit the other car?!?!?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Triple F

Joan: "I know something you don't know...."

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Nah, nah, nah, nah, boo, boo...."

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Triple F"

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Food For Thought"

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Oh." Pause. "That doesn't work, does it?"

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Cruising

Joan: I've been cruising for kicks.

Kate: You've been cruising for WHAT?

Joan: Kicks.

Kate: Oh. Oh, I thought you said something else.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Eggs

What do you mean eggs aren't dairy? They're IN the dairy case!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

La-a

Friday, August 7, 2009

Thanks, Kat

"You look like a man when you make that face."

Kat, to me. I was putting on makeup.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Technical Difficulties?

Delinquent #1 = pregnant teen, female
Delinquent #2 = former drug addict teen, male

Delinquent #2: "Yeah I want kids... eventually."
Delinquent #1: "Oh, so you are waiting. You're the smart one."

Portion of conversation a bit blurred as I walked past.

Delinquent #2 = "...there are some technical difficulties..."

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Toe Ring

"You know, that ring used to be Sherri's toe ring." - Joy, 3 days after I wore a ring (on my finger!) that Kat proudly gave me to wear to a gala on Friday night.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

July 3rd BBQ

In answer to the question, "Where's Michael?", MP said, "Taming the beast. And I'm not talking about my hoo-hoo."

July 3rd BBQ

Sam to Kat: "What does U.S.P.S. stand for?"

Becky whispers in Kat's ear: "United States Post Office."

July 3rd BBQ

"I'm on the motherfucker." -- MP, solving a problem.

July 3rd BBQ

"Neighbors are gonna love this." -- MP at the start of karaoke.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

“Don’t call them nipples! They’re tits!”

Said my co-worker to her two sons (ages 11 and 14) attempting to teach them a lesson about a calf feeding from its mother. And she thought she was in the right when she reiterated this story to me. I completely fell apart laughing at her, and then corrected her with “teats.” Imagine the damage control that she had to do!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Meg and Doug on marriage

Two of our board members had the following conversation tonight. (Meg is a young woman who just got married and Doug is an older, conservative man).

Meg: I'm keeping my last name.
Doug: Oh.
Meg: Yeah.
Doug: I thought you got married.

Grr.

Self-absorbed much?

Joy to Becky, "Not everything is about you."

Becky to Joy, "If I had a nickel for every time you assholes said that..."

"I don't blame him for doing that."

Said by my mom, after pointing out how long you have to wait for a green light in Clifton Park, and then observing the man in front of us drive through a yellow light at the next intersection. So I said to her, he didn't do anything WRONG. What is it that you're not blaming him for?
We both started to giggle. I love my mom.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Friday, May 29, 2009

"He's looking at my weiner."

Said by Michael, to MP, about Grover on 5/28/09

Monday, May 25, 2009

Better Memory

I guess I will have to keep better track of things people say around me so I can contribute a funny. Watch out everyone!

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Joy to Katherine 5.09

Where: Whistling Kettle
Present: Mary Pat, Kate, Joy, and Katherine

"Take that out of your mouth and I can see your underwear."