Wednesday, July 7, 2010

MP:

Can't have lemons or limes. Bad for the boob juice.

Yeah.

Kate: Your wife and I really bonded today.
Ryan: Was it a religious experience?
Joan: It was more sexual.

Say What?

Kate: We're talking about butt sex.
Becky: Hi, Kat.

Kate:

Betty Crocker is awesome. I love that bitch.

Angie to Sam:

Chug it!

Sam to Stephanie:

Oh, go adjust your breasts.

Monday, May 31, 2010

A Little Something

Sorry Kate he just has a little something you don't have. If he's lucky it's a big something

The list

The list is long and distinguished.

Yeah, so's my johnson.

Seatbelt

Kate: Something's wrong with your seat belt.

Becky: Your drunk. I'm pretty sure the problem's not with the seat belt. Just takin' a stab.

Monday, April 5, 2010

we'll stuff you in the trunk, Kate

"I wish we had a clone of you so that we could see you more. Whenever we wanted to karaoke, I could just get the Kate out of my trunk."

Saturday, April 3, 2010

New Game: Awful Or Awesome

The ugly bride over there? Awful.

The entire ugly wedding party showing up to sing? Awesome.

Thank You Alanis

While singing along to Alanis' You Outta Know, "It's not fair to deny me...the cross I bear that you gave to me!"

"...This a perfect Easter song, isn't it?"

New Name

Joy: Did you just call me "Joseph"?
Kate: I was trying to say "Joyous" and "Joyful" and it came out wrong. Sorry.
Joy: You should be.

SkankWagon

If Joan's a skank, I want to be on that wagon.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Oh, those cheese grinders!

An artist exhibiting at Brookside shared a conversation she'd had with a woman at the Saratoga Art Center:

Woman: We really only publicize our events in Saratoga Springs...we don't want the Galway cheese grinders to show up!

Patty: Cheese grinders?

Woman: Oh, you know, people who accidentally drop cheese on the floor at parties and then grind it into the carpet with their heels.

Patty: I'm from Galway....


(For those who don't know, Galway is a small, rural-ish town near Saratoga.)
I've totally never heard this insult before but I love it!!!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Law abiding citizen?

Joy: I can't call Chris back right now because I'm driving and it's against the law to talk on the phone while driving. I AM a law abiding citizen!!

Joanna: Wait! Wasn't it you who hit someone's car last week and left the scene? And wasn't it Kat that had to point out to you that you hit the other car?!?!?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Triple F

Joan: "I know something you don't know...."

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Nah, nah, nah, nah, boo, boo...."

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Triple F"

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Food For Thought"

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Oh." Pause. "That doesn't work, does it?"

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Cruising

Joan: I've been cruising for kicks.

Kate: You've been cruising for WHAT?

Joan: Kicks.

Kate: Oh. Oh, I thought you said something else.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Eggs

What do you mean eggs aren't dairy? They're IN the dairy case!

Saturday, September 5, 2009

La-a

Friday, August 7, 2009

Thanks, Kat

"You look like a man when you make that face."

Kat, to me. I was putting on makeup.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Technical Difficulties?

Delinquent #1 = pregnant teen, female
Delinquent #2 = former drug addict teen, male

Delinquent #2: "Yeah I want kids... eventually."
Delinquent #1: "Oh, so you are waiting. You're the smart one."

Portion of conversation a bit blurred as I walked past.

Delinquent #2 = "...there are some technical difficulties..."

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Toe Ring

"You know, that ring used to be Sherri's toe ring." - Joy, 3 days after I wore a ring (on my finger!) that Kat proudly gave me to wear to a gala on Friday night.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

July 3rd BBQ

In answer to the question, "Where's Michael?", MP said, "Taming the beast. And I'm not talking about my hoo-hoo."

July 3rd BBQ

Sam to Kat: "What does U.S.P.S. stand for?"

Becky whispers in Kat's ear: "United States Post Office."