A Little Something

Sorry Kate he just has a little something you don't have. If he's lucky it's a big something

The list

The list is long and distinguished.

Yeah, so's my johnson.

Seatbelt

Kate: Something's wrong with your seat belt.

Becky: Your drunk. I'm pretty sure the problem's not with the seat belt. Just takin' a stab.

we'll stuff you in the trunk, Kate

"I wish we had a clone of you so that we could see you more. Whenever we wanted to karaoke, I could just get the Kate out of my trunk."

New Game: Awful Or Awesome

The ugly bride over there? Awful.

The entire ugly wedding party showing up to sing? Awesome.

Thank You Alanis

While singing along to Alanis' You Outta Know, "It's not fair to deny me...the cross I bear that you gave to me!"

"...This a perfect Easter song, isn't it?"

New Name

Joy: Did you just call me "Joseph"?

Kate: I was trying to say "Joyous" and "Joyful" and it came out wrong. Sorry.

Joy: You should be.

SkankWagon

If Joan's a skank, I want to be on that wagon.

Oh, those cheese grinders!

An artist exhibiting at Brookside shared a conversation she'd had with a woman at the Saratoga Art Center:

Woman: We really only publicize our events in Saratoga Springs...we don't want the Galway cheese grinders to show up!

Patty: Cheese grinders?

Woman: Oh, you know, people who accidentally drop cheese on the floor at parties and then grind it into the carpet with their heels.

Patty: I'm from Galway....

(For those who don't know, Galway is a small, rural-ish town near Saratoga.)
I've totally never heard this insult before but I love it!!!

Law abiding citizen?

Joy: I can't call Chris back right now because I'm driving and it's against the law to talk on the phone while driving. I AM a law abiding citizen!!

Joanna: Wait! Wasn't it you who hit someone's car last week and left the scene? And wasn't it Kat that had to point out to you that you hit the other car?!?!?

Triple F

Joan: "I know something you don't know...."

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Nah, nah, nah, nah, boo, boo...."

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Triple F"

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Food For Thought"

Joanna, Joy, Ash, Chris: Expectant Silence

Joan: "Oh." Pause. "That doesn't work, does it?"

Cruising

Joan: I've been cruising for kicks.

Kate: You've been cruising for WHAT?

Joan: Kicks.

Kate: Oh. Oh, I thought you said something else.

Eggs

What do you mean eggs aren't dairy? They're IN the dairy case!

La-a

Thanks, Kat

"You look like a man when you make that face."

Kat, to me. I was putting on makeup.

Technical Difficulties?

Delinquent #1 = pregnant teen, female

Delinquent #2 = former drug addict teen, male

Delinquent #2: "Yeah I want kids... eventually."

Delinquent #1: "Oh, so you are waiting. You're the smart one."

Portion of conversation a bit blurred as I walked past.

Delinquent #2 = "...there are some technical difficulties..."

Toe Ring

"You know, that ring used to be Sherri's toe ring." - Joy, 3 days after I wore a ring (on my finger!) that Kat proudly gave me to wear to a gala on Friday night.

July 3rd BBQ

In answer to the question, "Where's Michael?", MP said, "Taming the beast. And I'm not talking about my hoo-hoo."

July 3rd BBQ

Sam to Kat: "What does U.S.P.S. stand for?"

Becky whispers in Kat's ear: "United States Post Office."

July 3rd BBQ

"I'm on the motherfucker." -- MP, solving a problem.

July 3rd BBQ

"Neighbors are gonna love this." -- MP at the start of karaoke.

“Don’t call them nipples! They’re tits!”

Said my co-worker to her two sons (ages 11 and 14) attempting to teach them a lesson about a calf feeding from its mother. And she thought she was in the right when she reiterated this story to me. I completely fell apart laughing at her, and then corrected her with “teats.” Imagine the damage control that she had to do!!!

Meg and Doug on marriage

Two of our board members had the following conversation tonight. (Meg is a young woman who just got married and Doug is an older, conservative man).

Meg: I'm keeping my last name.
Doug: Oh.
Meg: Yeah.
Doug: I thought you got married.

Grr.

Self-absorbed much?

Joy to Becky, "Not everything is about you."

Becky to Joy, "If I had a nickel for every time you assholes said that..."

"I don't blame him for doing that."

Said by my mom, after pointing out how long you have to wait for a green light in Clifton Park, and then observing the man in front of us drive through a yellow light at the next intersection. So I said to her, he didn't do anything WRONG. What is it that you're not blaming him for?
We both started to giggle. I love my mom.